Each saturday,
I shout: "hooray"!
For that's my pocketmoney day.
Although it's clearly understood,
I only get it when I'm good.
This week my parents had been told,
That I have been as good as gold.
So after breakfast
-50 p-
my generous father gave to me.
Like lightening down the road I ran
untill I reached the sweetshop man.
And bought the chocolates of my dreams:
a great big bag of raspberry creams.
There is a secret place I know
where I quite often like to go.
Beyond the wood behind some rocks.
A super place for dazzling chocs!
When I arrived, I quickly found
a comfty looking, little mount.
Quite clean and round.
And earthy brown just right I thought for sitting down.
Here I will sit all morning long
and eat untill my chocs are gone.
I sat ... I screamed ... I jumped a foot!
Would you believe that I had put that tender, little rump of mine
upon a giant porcupine?
My backside seemed kept on fire!
A hundred red hot bits of wire.
A hundred prickles sticking in
and puncturing my precious skin.
I ran for home
I shouted: "MAM!"
"Behold the prickles in my bum!"
My mum always keeps her head
bent down to look
and then she said:
"I personally am not about
to try to pull those prickles out.
I think a job like this requires
the services of mister Myers."
I shouted: "Not the dentist!
No! Ow mum, why don't you have a go?"
I begged her twice,
I begged her thies,
but grown-ups never take advice.
she said: "A dentist is very strong,
he pulls things out the whole day long."
She drove me quickly into town
and then they turned me upside down
upon the awful dentists chair
while two strong nurses helt me there.
Enter the dreaded mister Myers
waving a massive pair of plyers.
"This is," he cried with obvious glee
"a new experience for me."
"Quite honestly I can't pretend,
I never pulled things from this end."
He started pulling one by one
and yelling: "My oh my, what fun!"
I shouted: "help!"; I shouted: "aw!"
He said: "It's nearly over now."
"For heavens sake, don't squirm a bite,
Here it goes, the last one's coming out."
The dentist pulled and out it came
and then I heard the man explain:
"Let us now talk about the fees,
that will be 50 guinnees, please."
My mother is a gutsy bird
and never want to mints a word.
She cried: "My gosh, that's dolly steep!"
He answered: "No, it's very cheap."
"My dear woman can't you see,
that if it hadn't been for me,
this child would go another year,
with prickles sticking in her rear."
So that was that! Ow, what a day and what a fuzz!
But by the way, I think I know why porcupines
surround themselves with prickly spines.
It is to stop some silly clown
from squashing them by sitting down.
Don't copy me...
Don't be a twit...
Be sure you look before you sit!
